So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize