Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
