if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
