On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
