I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize