His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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