Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
