Your dad touched me again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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