yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
In America we eat man semen.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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