do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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