is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize