so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You pole danced in your parka.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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