i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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