also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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