Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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