No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
