i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
