i just google imaged poop.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
