im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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