I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
