saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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