apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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