The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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