I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
