The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
