Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
