I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
