is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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