he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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