so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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