dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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