i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
