First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
