i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
