the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
