I can tuck mytits in my pants
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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