Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize