My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
