why didn't you poke me back
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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