What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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