Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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