totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
