Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
