I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize