Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I skipped work to stalk him.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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