my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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