We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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