apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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