you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Someone shattered a urinal.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
