my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize