Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
