I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
