How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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