I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
