So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
