Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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