i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
