we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
